Dealing with forgotten item?me on account of my forgetfulness.

For things to be relatively quiet in my world of single parenting is a rarity to say the least. It seems the occasion to ever have that moment when everything is done and there is
nothing to worry about barely exists and as soon as it does, it’s a small glimmer gone in a flash. I’m sure it’s this way for any parent, whether married or single, but it seems to be more so for the single parent given that we are responsible for everything from going to work, to making sure the check book is balanced and the bills are paid, to doing the monthly shopping and the last minute shopping, to everything in-between.

I think the only reprieve is when the children reach driving age and you can use them as your own personal errand runner. This is one of the nicest advantages to them being old enough to accept bigger responsibilities and being able to drive. As parents, some of us say, “I can’t wait until they can drive so they can. . . ” and others of us say “I’m going to be so freaked out when they start driving because . . .”

For me, I find one of my biggest joys in knowing I can rely on my older children to run to the store and get milk, bread or butter when dinner’s cooking and I’m running late and I have to have it now. The only time I have not been thankful for their new legal ability is when they want to take a road trip to see their friends and it’s snowing and I have to argue ‘no’ because I worry about their safety.

With that said, the struggle of the week (or month) in my life is when I am working, on deadline, and they continuously seem to be forgetting everything under the sun that they have to have for the school day. You know its bad when they call you from school and the first thing they say after you say ‘hello’ is ‘Mom, you’re going to kill me. I forgot my...’

It’s in these moments when their ability to drive and being able to help you out is completely and utterly irrelevant - unless they have their own car, and only provided they don’t need the forgotten item before lunch at their only opportunity to leave and go get it themselves.

Now I realize at the high school age they should be responsible enough to make sure they don’t leave the house without all they need for the day. I mean, what else do they really have to worry about? And I know if I make them feel the pain of having forgotten the item a time or two then the natural consequence will hopefully help them to remember the next time.

But what happens when it’s really important stuff that they really need to have? Do we be a good mom and take it to them so their grade doesn’t suffer or they don’t miss out on playing in their game in the case of a forgotten jersey. Or, choice two, be a good mom and make them feel the pain so they remember next time.

The question is, when do you take them their forgotten item for the millionth time in the last two weeks and when do you make them suffer? I think the answer lies not in the rationalization of whether or not they feel the pain, but rather in “how important is it” and where to draw the line between responsibility and just plain forgetfulness.

For me, we are at the point of drawing the line, even if he did just go to the store forme on account of my forgetfulness.